So, this bloke walks into a greengrocer's ...

So, this bloke walks into a greengrocer's ...

[Dave Korn]

... and asks the grocer for a pound of potatoes and half-a-dozen neutrons.

  "Certainly sir, here you are" says the grocer, wrapping them up and passing
them over.

  "How much do I owe you?" asks the bloke.

  "For the potatoes, twenty pence".

  "And for the neutrons?"





           .









           .









           .









           .









           .









           .







  "No charge".


  <b-dumfTISSSHHHHHH>

    cheers,
      DaveK
-- 
Can't think of a witty .sigline today....

Re: So, this bloke walks into a greengrocer's ...

[Igor Peshansky]

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?".

No punchline, more like a kick-line...
	Igor
-- 
				http://cs.nyu.edu/~pechtcha/
      |\      _,,,---,,_	    pechtcha@cs.nyu.edu | igor@watson.ibm.com
ZZZzz /,`.-'`'    -.  ;-;;,_		Igor Peshansky, Ph.D. (name changed!)
     |,4-  ) )-,_. ,\ (  `'-'		old name: Igor Pechtchanski
    '---''(_/--'  `-'\_) fL	a.k.a JaguaR-R-R-r-r-r-.-.-.  Meow!

Freedom is just another word for "nothing left to lose"...  -- Janis Joplin

RE: So, this bloke walks into a greengrocer's ...

[Dave Korn]

On 31 May 2007 15:30, Igor Peshansky wrote:

> A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?".
> 
> No punchline, more like a kick-line...
> 	Igor


  So a bloke walks into a bar, and he goes "Ouch that hurt".


    cheers,
      DaveK
-- 
Can't think of a witty .sigline today....

Re: So, this bloke walks into a greengrocer's ...

[Christopher Faylor]

On Thu, May 31, 2007 at 03:07:32PM +0100, Dave Korn wrote:
>
>... and asks the grocer for a pound of potatoes and half-a-dozen neutrons.
>
>  "Certainly sir, here you are" says the grocer, wrapping them up and passing
>them over.
>
>  "How much do I owe you?" asks the bloke.
>
>  "For the potatoes, twenty pence".
>
>  "And for the neutrons?"

I've been telling a variation of that one for a few weeks, along with this one:

Two atoms are walking down the street.

Atom A bumps into Atom B.  Atom B stops and looks stunned.

Atom B: "I think I lost an electron!"

Atom A: "Are you sure?"

Atom B: "I'm positive!"

cgf

RE: So, this bloke walks into a greengrocer's ...

[Dave Korn]

On 31 May 2007 15:55, Christopher Faylor wrote:

> On Thu, May 31, 2007 at 03:07:32PM +0100, Dave Korn wrote:
>> 
>> ... and asks the grocer for a pound of potatoes and half-a-dozen neutrons.
>> 
>>  "Certainly sir, here you are" says the grocer, wrapping them up and
>> passing them over. 
>> 
>>  "How much do I owe you?" asks the bloke.
>> 
>>  "For the potatoes, twenty pence".
>> 
>>  "And for the neutrons?"
> 
> I've been telling a variation of that one for a few weeks, along with this
> one: 
> 
> Two atoms are walking down the street.
> 
> Atom A bumps into Atom B.  Atom B stops and looks stunned.
> 
> Atom B: "I think I lost an electron!"
> 
> Atom A: "Are you sure?"
> 
> Atom B: "I'm positive!"
> 
> cgf


  What's the smallest soft-drink in the world?

  Ion Brew.  Made in Scotland from electrons.


    cheers,
      DaveK
-- 
Can't think of a witty .sigline today....

RE: So, this bloke walks into a greengrocer's ...

[Igor Peshansky]

On Thu, 31 May 2007, Dave Korn wrote:

> On 31 May 2007 15:55, Christopher Faylor wrote:
>
> > On Thu, May 31, 2007 at 03:07:32PM +0100, Dave Korn wrote:
> >>
> >> ... and asks the grocer for a pound of potatoes and half-a-dozen neutrons.
> >>
> >>  "Certainly sir, here you are" says the grocer, wrapping them up and
> >> passing them over.
> >>
> >>  "How much do I owe you?" asks the bloke.
> >>
> >>  "For the potatoes, twenty pence".
> >>
> >>  "And for the neutrons?"
> >
> > I've been telling a variation of that one for a few weeks, along with this
> > one:
> >
> > Two atoms are walking down the street.
> >
> > Atom A bumps into Atom B.  Atom B stops and looks stunned.
> >
> > Atom B: "I think I lost an electron!"
> >
> > Atom A: "Are you sure?"
> >
> > Atom B: "I'm positive!"
> >
> > cgf
>
>   What's the smallest soft-drink in the world?
>
>   Ion Brew.  Made in Scotland from electrons.

Oh, is that what Qualcomm has been up to?..
	Igor
-- 
				http://cs.nyu.edu/~pechtcha/
      |\      _,,,---,,_	    pechtcha@cs.nyu.edu | igor@watson.ibm.com
ZZZzz /,`.-'`'    -.  ;-;;,_		Igor Peshansky, Ph.D. (name changed!)
     |,4-  ) )-,_. ,\ (  `'-'		old name: Igor Pechtchanski
    '---''(_/--'  `-'\_) fL	a.k.a JaguaR-R-R-r-r-r-.-.-.  Meow!

Freedom is just another word for "nothing left to lose"...  -- Janis Joplin

Re: So, this bloke walks into a greengrocer's ...

[Corinna Vinschen]

On May 31 15:07, Dave Korn wrote:
> 
> 
> ... and asks the grocer for a pound of potatoes and half-a-dozen neutrons.
> 
>   "Certainly sir, here you are" says the grocer, wrapping them up and passing
> them over.
> 
>   "How much do I owe you?" asks the bloke.
> 
>   "For the potatoes, twenty pence".
> 
>   "And for the neutrons?"
> 
> [...cliffhanger and advertising removed...]
> 
>   "No charge".

"This bloke"?  Did you mean This Guy(*) by any chance?  I just hope
it wasn't That Guy(**) because that would spoil the whole joke.
OTOH, if it really was This Bloke, you owe us some explanations(***)


Corinna

(*)   http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/This_guy
(**)  http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/That_guy
(***) http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/This_bloke

Re: So, this bloke walks into a greengrocer's ...

[morgan gangwere]

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Corinna Vinschen wrote:
> On May 31 15:07, Dave Korn wrote:
>>
>> ... and asks the grocer for a pound of potatoes and half-a-dozen neutrons.
>>
>>   "Certainly sir, here you are" says the grocer, wrapping them up and passing
>> them over.
>>
>>   "How much do I owe you?" asks the bloke.
>>
>>   "For the potatoes, twenty pence".
>>
>>   "And for the neutrons?"
>>
>> [...cliffhanger and advertising removed...]
>>
>>   "No charge".
> 
> "This bloke"?  Did you mean This Guy(*) by any chance?  I just hope
> it wasn't That Guy(**) because that would spoil the whole joke.
> OTOH, if it really was This Bloke, you owe us some explanations(***)
> 
> 
> Corinna
> 
> (*)   http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/This_guy
> (**)  http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/That_guy
> (***) http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/This_bloke
> 

so this guy and that guy walk into that bar and this bloke says "dont do
that!"

sheesh

we cover all our bases, or does this guy have to handle it for us? -->
http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/b/b5/Exploding-head.gif

- --
Just a Thought
Morgan Gangwere

For those who want my PGP key:
http://pengunassasin.kicks-ass.org/pgpKey.html

******* Wisdom for the day *******
* Dont rawquote - it gives       *
*          spammers free bait!   *
**********************************
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: GnuPG v1.4.7 (MingW32)
Comment: Using GnuPG with Mozilla - http://enigmail.mozdev.org

iD8DBQFGX6F2CF9T/dUsmAgRApYDAKDGWqWaJlXLYeo7vc9TchmJ7cxRLgCg3QQ9
Kim9j5ARlr5qK0nU7R286gc=
=PuSb
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

Re: So, this bloke walks into a greengrocer's ...

[Bobby McNulty]

morgan gangwere wrote:
> -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
> Hash: SHA1
>
> Corinna Vinschen wrote:
>   
>> On May 31 15:07, Dave Korn wrote:
>>     
>>> ... and asks the grocer for a pound of potatoes and half-a-dozen neutrons.
>>>
>>>   "Certainly sir, here you are" says the grocer, wrapping them up and passing
>>> them over.
>>>
>>>   "How much do I owe you?" asks the bloke.
>>>
>>>   "For the potatoes, twenty pence".
>>>
>>>   "And for the neutrons?"
>>>
>>> [...cliffhanger and advertising removed...]
>>>
>>>   "No charge".
>>>       
>> "This bloke"?  Did you mean This Guy(*) by any chance?  I just hope
>> it wasn't That Guy(**) because that would spoil the whole joke.
>> OTOH, if it really was This Bloke, you owe us some explanations(***)
>>
>>
>> Corinna
>>
>> (*)   http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/This_guy
>> (**)  http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/That_guy
>> (***) http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/This_bloke
>>
>>     
>
> so this guy and that guy walk into that bar and this bloke says "dont do
> that!"
>
> sheesh
>
> we cover all our bases, or does this guy have to handle it for us? -->
> http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/b/b5/Exploding-head.gif
>
> - --
> Just a Thought
> Morgan Gangwere
>
> For those who want my PGP key:
> http://pengunassasin.kicks-ass.org/pgpKey.html
>
> ******* Wisdom for the day *******
> * Dont rawquote - it gives       *
> *          spammers free bait!   *
> **********************************
> -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
> Version: GnuPG v1.4.7 (MingW32)
> Comment: Using GnuPG with Mozilla - http://enigmail.mozdev.org
>
> iD8DBQFGX6F2CF9T/dUsmAgRApYDAKDGWqWaJlXLYeo7vc9TchmJ7cxRLgCg3QQ9
> Kim9j5ARlr5qK0nU7R286gc=
> =PuSb
> -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----
>
>   
Funny. I like that.
-

Re: So, this bloke walks into a greengrocer's ...

[morgan gangwere]

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Bobby McNulty wrote:
> morgan gangwere wrote:
> Corinna Vinschen wrote:
>  
>>>> On May 31 15:07, Dave Korn wrote:
>>>>    
>>>>> ... and asks the grocer for a pound of potatoes and half-a-dozen
>>>>> neutrons.
>>>>>
>>>>>   "Certainly sir, here you are" says the grocer, wrapping them up
>>>>> and passing
>>>>> them over.
>>>>>
>>>>>   "How much do I owe you?" asks the bloke.
>>>>>
>>>>>   "For the potatoes, twenty pence".
>>>>>
>>>>>   "And for the neutrons?"
>>>>>
>>>>> [...cliffhanger and advertising removed...]
>>>>>
>>>>>   "No charge".
>>>>>       
>>>> "This bloke"?  Did you mean This Guy(*) by any chance?  I just hope
>>>> it wasn't That Guy(**) because that would spoil the whole joke.
>>>> OTOH, if it really was This Bloke, you owe us some explanations(***)
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Corinna
>>>>
>>>> (*)   http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/This_guy
>>>> (**)  http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/That_guy
>>>> (***) http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/This_bloke
>>>>
>>>>     
> 
> so this guy and that guy walk into that bar and this bloke says "dont do
> that!"
> 
> sheesh
> 
> we cover all our bases, or does this guy have to handle it for us? -->
> http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/b/b5/Exploding-head.gif
> 
>>

> Funny. I like that.
> -

courtesy of Bennet Hasselton (he runs peacefire - they make the internet
free!)
> Subject: New CV [https MouseRoad dot com]
> x-funnyness-level: 9
> [snip]
> So a couple of hunters from New Jersey are out in the woods when suddenly one of them falls over.  The second guy checks his friend's pulse, then panics and calls 911 on his cell phone: "Help, I think my friend's dead!"
> 
> The 911 operator says, "OK sir, try and remain calm.  First, make sure he's actually dead."
> 
> There is a silence, then a gunshot.  Then the guy is back on the phone: "OK, now what?"
> 
> Bennett



- --
Just a Thought
Morgan Gangwere

For those who want my PGP key:
http://pengunassasin.kicks-ass.org/pgpKey.html

******* Wisdom for the day *******
* Dont rawquote - it gives       *
*          spammers free bait!   *
**********************************
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: GnuPG v1.4.7 (MingW32)
Comment: Using GnuPG with Mozilla - http://enigmail.mozdev.org

iD8DBQFGX6YwCF9T/dUsmAgRAiwXAJ9eTvR05fk4O2DegDexPsGfw3OL6gCeJH1j
DvaUZmxFnhg7I3mHe/pud1g=
=VME9
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

Re: So, this bloke walks into a greengrocer's ...

[zzapper]

"Dave Korn" <dave.korn@artimi.com> wrote in
news:00e501c7a38d$07d5b230$2e08a8c0@CAM.ARTIMI.COM: 

> 
> 
> ... and asks the grocer for a pound of potatoes and half-a-dozen
> neutrons. 
> 
>   "Certainly sir, here you are" says the grocer, wrapping them up and
>   passing 
> them over.
> 
>   "How much do I owe you?" asks the bloke.
> 
>   "For the potatoes, twenty pence".
> 
>   "And for the neutrons?"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>            .
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>            .
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>            .
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>            .
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>            .
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>            .
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>   "No charge".
> 
> 
>   <b-dumfTISSSHHHHHH>
> 
>     cheers,
>       DaveK

hold on; this joke doesn't work on Vista!

-- 
zzapper
http://www.rayninfo.co.uk/vimtips.html

RE: So, this bloke walks into a greengrocer's ...

[Dave Korn]

On 20 June 2007 12:16, zzapper wrote:

> "Dave Korn" <dave.korn@AARGHTHEHIPPOSARECOMINGTHEHIPPOSARECOMING> wrote in
> news:00e501c7a38d$07d5b230$2e08a8c0@CAM.ARTIMI.COM:
> 
>> 
>> 
>> ... and asks the grocer for a pound of potatoes and half-a-dozen neutrons.
>> 
>>   "Certainly sir, here you are" says the grocer, wrapping them up and  
>> passing them over.
>> 
>>   "How much do I owe you?" asks the bloke.
>> 
>>   "For the potatoes, twenty pence".
>> 
>>   "And for the neutrons?"
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>>            .
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>>            .
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>>            .
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>>            .
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>>            .
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>>            .
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>>   "No charge".
>> 
>> 
>>   <b-dumfTISSSHHHHHH>
>> 
>>     cheers,
>>       DaveK
> 
> hold on; this joke doesn't work on Vista!


"  My calculator is not producing the right answer. Multiplying two doubles
resulted in an imprecise product that is missing the last significant digit.
Sun should really test their products better! Why should I have to debug your
code? And your mother is ugly, too!  "


    cheers,
      DaveK
-- 
Can't think of a witty .sigline today....